[blank planet]

we had a snow day today, and i spent it talking to alex, from around 1 this after noon till now. i have to say, in person would have been better, but it definitely made me feel better. i was in a mood this morning, but im definitely not now. alex makes me happy. maybe happier than he should for our...arrangement, ill call it. its obvious things are mutual, and it makes me wonder if he sees it too. there was so much flirting initiated by him today, so im sure he knows. too bad its soooo forbidden. if he knows, i wonder if he knows that i do too. maybe hes making himself obvious? who knows. who cares. im happy with the way things are. im one of the only 3 people he txts on a regular basis. hes always happy to talk to me. when he brought me soup last, he said id had been too long since we'd hung out. i feel bad for him tho. he really wants a girlfriend. i good one. he hasnt had one in 4 years. actually, he hasnt had one period in 4 years. now hes looking, and getting nowhere. id be willing to bed that if i were atleast 18, he'd ask me. and part of me wishes i was 18. but at the same time, idk. i love alex. i do. and i do like him. honestly. but idk. hes a great guy, hands down. who knows. who knows what will happen in the future. alex understands everything. alex always makes me feel better. alex makes my music sound that much better. alex means that much to me, and i hope he knows that i would never take him for granted.