[crazy]

lets see, whats happened lately? ryan broke up with amanda and i got left with cleaning up the mess as usual, but i dont mind, i never do. i met her mom, and that was a really fun 2 days. her step brother is really cool considering hes only in 8th grade. her little sister is crazy but it was fun, even tho it was kinda annoying. i had a blast at all states with nik, and victoria, my roommate, swore that he liked me, and i kinda got that feeling too. we havent talked much since tho, k, i just realized i had a dream about ryan griffin. oh shit. thats kinda scary but ok, i get to see him all summer in the pit band im playing in. that will be interesting. im still debating on whether or not i should invite nik in june. im still thinking about it.

so ive been helping amanda out alot with this whole thing with ryan, and she was doing better, but when she slept over, we found something on his page that she didnt like very much. someone who is alot of bad news. she says that she hates him for even talking to her and shes never gonna talk to him again. i told him this, and warned him about the girl, but hes only checking her out because of stuff hes heard and cause he trusts me. a little anyway. hes like my brother tho, so i cant help but care. i dont think i like him anymore, hes just a really important figure to me now. ive never been this close to a guy who isnt my boyfriend so to me this is kinda big and im not gonna lose him. so on top of all that, rajewski has found a way to get involved. he went with us on friday to the concert, and now he likes amanada. says hes had dreams about her before he met her. he also says hes changed, hes not all about the one thing he was always after. i dont know how he is with relationships, i might ask cindy and see what she says. im trying to convince amanda to give him a chance, just to get to know him. hes really nice when you get to know him. but i dont know, things seem to have calmed down after last night. its not too bad now, not at the moment, but its still crazy how much and what is going on.