Over It

And that's when I realized I was over it. I didn't want to tell the story again. It wasn't because I didn't know this Stephen kid, I'd told the story to strangers before. It was because I really didn't want to go through it for the millionth time. I'm over it. It is officially over and I don't want to go back. I'm over all the shit that happened from the Myers, Mike, all the way to the Snake Room drama. It's all over. I've taken what I can from it. It doesn't control me anymore. And not wanting to tell the story again is how I realized this. Because since it happened, that's all I've done. I've just told more and more people about what happened. It never got old to me. But now, it has. It bores me. I left out details because I didn't care. And I realized I was stupid to let the whole thing happen anyway. Because none of it was worth it. I don't regret anything, because I can't imagine not having gone through it, but I really did just sit back and let it happen. I didn't actively try to stop it or avoid it. But it's over. It's actually over. And I think that's what I can't get over now. I'm so much expecting to have the other half start something new. But the thing is, even if they did, they don't have any ties to me anymore. I have my friends, they have theirs, and I go back to school next weekend. It really doesn't matter. So I'm gonna take Duffek's advice, because he knows that he's talking about, even though it was my plan even before talking to him today. I'm going to focus on my music. I'm going to throw myself into school, my music, and getting a job, and a car, and really making something of myself. I've been doing well, but I could do better. I know that much. I need to do something that isn't nothing. I'm ready to work hard. I'm ready to be busy and earn something for myself. I'm ready to become my own person that I can really be proud of. I want to make a name for myself outside of my town where everyone knows me because I'm fifth generation. I want to make a difference. Somehow. And that all starts this semester.