New Year's Resolution

I've been though a lot of shit in the past 6 years. From various types of abuse to bullying and constantly losing friends, I've been through a lot. I would be lying if I said it didn't effect me. It does. I have a short fuse. I overreact about situations that aren't as big as I make them out to be. I worry about every little thing and find it hard to see the bright side to most situations. But now that Ryan's gone and I'm officially out of the circle that caused so much trouble for me in high school, I'm finding things a lot easier. I've taken a good look at my life and realized a lot of things. I'm changing. I want to be a happier, more free person. And I'm starting to not care so much. I'm making progress with my performance anxiety, which has been a long time goal of mine, and I'm dancing and being weird more just because I flippin' can! But the biggest thing I think is not letting this break up keep me down. Of course I have my moments where I want to cry, I want to go through his facebook and all that, but I don't. I suddenly have a lot more will power than ever before, as well as more confidence and self-esteem. And the bright side I've found to all of this bullshit? It's given me loads of ammunition for new songs. I wrote one tonight in under two hours, and I have enough for at least two more. It's been about a month since the breakup and I didn't think the timing was good at first, but now I can't imagine a better time. With the new year here, its the perfect time to change.