It's Not A Sad Story

It's not a sad story. It's not the end of the world. I thought he was someone, and I was wrong. It happens. Shit happens. You learn to move on. He'd been such a focus in my life for four years that it's a little hard, it hurts a lot, but I'm not alone. I'll be just fine. I am just fine. He didn't break me. He helped me and left. He made a choice. I hope he regrets it. I hope he reconsiders his choices. I hope he comes crawling back just so I can kick him in the face and send him running for the hills. You don't do what he did to me. You just don't. You don't make yourself into everything for a girl. You don't take on her trauma from being abused and make it your problem, and heal her, just to dump her two years later via text message. You don't promise her forever, and then dump her for your ex, who just happens to be her ex best friend. You just don't do shit like that. But hey, I'm the childish one, according to you, so what do I know? But in the long run, none of it matters. I learned a lot, and now I have the rest of my life to find someone who is actually worth my time. I'm only nineteen after all. I've got plenty of time. I got the awkward first time out of the way. I don't regret it either. Because there was a time I cared. I gave everything I had to someone I really truly loved, and cared for. So things changed. Big whoop. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. It was a learning experience, and it helped me grow as a person, but also as a songwriter. It introduced me to new feelings and emotions and increased the intensity of my happiness, my depression, and my anger. I know more about myself now than ever before. I know more about life itself than ever before. I've learned more of what I need, and learned that when it comes to the man I will one day marry, what I need is more important than what I want. My values haven't changed, but my standards have. And I think the way I go about things have changed as well. It seems he has found where he belongs, and it's in a place I tried so desperately to fit, but never could. But I did it for him. I know that much. Yet now, I have amazing friends, some I had before him, some I made during my time with him. And there will be many more to come. It's not a sad story. It's a series of odd events that pulled me out of the hole high school put me in. I don't want him to wonder of I'm ok, because I'm not the needy girl he thinks I am. I don't want sympathy because I'm not some poor, distraught, lost little girl that just saw her first "love" shattered before her very eyes. The truth is, my gut told me the whole time that we weren't for real. All along, I knew there was some dark secret hidden in him, something that he wasn't saying. And all along, I knew I could do better, that I deserved better.  It's not a sad story. It's the same story you hear every day. So don't be so condescending and stop acting like you care.