Hello World

It's been a long time since I've been here, and a lot has happened since my last post. I've loved, I've lost, I've hurt, and I've grown. I'm a soldier and I'm strong. But most important, I'm found. I found myself yesterday. I found myself and I never realized I'd lost myself. The guy I thought was the love of my life dumped me yesterday, for the second time, and the final time. He may still think its possible to go back and fix this after all the other times we have, but no. This time, I can't go back. And honestly, I'm OK with that. It hurts, and it's gonna hurt for a long time, but I'm ok. I'm going to be just fine. He clearly can't fight for me. Maybe he just doesn't know how, but I've shown him how to fight for who you love on many occasions and now it's my turn to walk away. I feel good. Through all the depression and pain, I feel good. I feel strong and powerful. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can see myself with a good guy in a few years, happy with a bright future. But it's an odd feeling. You see, this guy who I thought was the love of my life, we've been through a lot. He's hurt me a lot. But I always kept coming back to him and I could never figure out why. And I still don't know why. There is just something about him that pulls me in and never let go. It makes it impossible for me to hate him. But that bond, that thing that kept me coming back for more, it snapped yesterday. After a few days of accepting it wouldn't work, that pull snapped and I was freed. I'm free to be me, on my own, my own way. For the first time in over 3 years, I'm able to breath without worrying about him. Let me tell you, it's amazing. And that's how I know I'm going to be OK.