[Gimpy]

ryan is single again, and ive been getting more attention from him. hes been really happy lately too, which is great. i guess to him now that hes not with cindy, he doesnt have to deal with all the shit anymore, that carlos and karinna started a while ago. hes ignoring everything, which i guess makes me ignore it too. i had been able to keep my feelings for him at bay for a while, but they're back again, and growing, but this time, im not gonna let it affect my mood. life is good, and im trying hard not to ruin that. i hadnt talked to him all day yesterday, so around 8 when i finally texted him, i got an immediate response, and it seemed pretty excited. when he was leaving my house friday night because he couldnt spend the night, he gave me a big long hug. when we were sitting on the swing by the fire, he gave me a hug, and then kept his arm around me for a little bit and i had my head on his shoulder about to fall asleep. when he first got to my house on his bike, he gave me a big nasty sweaty hug. he hugged my head to his sweaty body and i didnt even care. when i was leaving the snake room to go to life guarding on thursday, he pulled me aside, made me sit on his lap with his arm around me, and asked what i wanted for my birthday. all i said was for him to be there. that was it. part of me is expecting tomorrow to be this huge day, and thank god its a b day, so i have snake room with everyone. tomorrow is when i turn 16. which means im allowed to date again. why am i expecting it to be a good day? im expecting ryan to do something. idk what, but part of me is hoping he asks me out, no matter how unlikely. i think im gonna text him now.