[Frustrated]

Pierre's step mom is leaving his dad. His family is saying he gets to choose where he goes now, but he said he doesn't really. In the end his dad will choose for him, and that most likely means going back to Haiti and staying there for the rest of his life. It sucks, and I'm pissed, and I want to cry, but at the same time, I'm glad because now I don't have to worry about ending things, and it's not all on me. That makes me sound like a terrible person, but it's how I feel. It also means maybe I can have a second chance with Brad sooner than later. But I still have to talk to Brad about things. I need to tell him everything:

• I can't stop thinking about him
• I miss him
• I like him more than I like Pierre
• I analyze everything he does around me
• I want so much to be able to read him, and I think I'm starting to

Why must life be so frustrating? Ashley and I wrote another song yesterday, funny enough, about Brad. Go figure right? I want things to work out. I really think they can if we try and give it a little time. I don't want things to be weird. I don't want him to be afraid of getting attached. I want things to go well, and I want to be with him. I need to talk to him and get closure at least. Maybe we can't ever try things again, but closure would be nice if we can't. The feeling of 'what if' will probably always be there, but at least I can try to put that feeling to rest with a bit of closure, perhaps him telling me the real reason he broke up with me the first time. I just need to get him alone. Next bonfire at his house or mine, we're going for a walk and we're talking. As long as Pierre's not there. That would be bad. As long as Pierre's not there, I'm talking to Brad. That's final.