[confused]

from september 11 to september 15 i was with brad, my friend of 10 years. after he broke up with me, we went through 2 weeks of bullshit because he had alot going on and didnt know how to deal. since then, we've been back to the way things were and its been great.

since october 18, ive been with pierre. things were going really well. until last weekend. all my thoughts about brad came back. i still like pierre, and im happy with him, but im thinking alot about brad. i keep remembering that first night we were together when he snuck into my room at 11 through my window and stayed for an hour. he actually brought it up last night at the football game before pierre got there.

"I remember sneaking through your window at 11 at night and your parents never knew. that was awesome." -Brad

"Yea, but all you did was just sit there staring at me!" -Me

"Well what was I supposed to do!" -Brad (i could have said something back to that but i didnt)

"And then 5 days later you broke up with her!" -Ashley

"Yea...sorry about that. I'm really sorry." -Brad

the fact that he brought that up amazed me. i wish so much sometimes that i could be with him. but at the same time, im happy with pierre and i dont want to ruin that. but i know me and pierre wont last. i dont have feelings for him the way i feel for brad.

{Life can never be easy}