Calmer Waters

The past six months have been amazing for me. I've grown to be true to myself. My views on a lot of things have changed and I've learned not to let fear hold me back. I no longer fear pain in any sense. I don't fear the future, whatever happens is meant to happen. I don't compare myself as much to other girls. I say "as much" because it is human nature to compare yourself to others. However, my self worth and self esteem have been nearly completely restored, and my self image problems have dissolved to a minimum. I'm not sure they will ever completely go away, but I'm happy with myself for now, and that's what matters. I am more the person I want to be than ever before. I have grown more in the past 6 months than ever before. I am legitimately happy for the first time in years. To top it all off, I found a guy that makes me even happier. I wasn't looking, I wasn't trying, I was just fine on my own. But that's the best kind, the unexpected. He makes me melt. There is so much I could say about him, there's too much in fact, that none of it will come out.

When Broken Is Easily Fixed

I'm happy. I'm whole. I'm no longer broken like I was for a long time. I'm confident and I'm proud and I'm a better person and I like who I'm becoming. I realized another big change yesterday too. I was telling my dad about a guy I like. I described this guy, and finished it by saying "I think you'd like him." That was when I realized I'm not looking to rebel against my parents anymore. I'll still stands up for what I want and what I believe in, but I want them to be happy with me. I want them to like the next guy I bring home. I want a genuinely nice guy that will be kind to my mother and talk politics with my father, play video games with my older sister and talk about sports with my younger sister. I want someone that will fit in with my family. And that is new for me. That shows how far I've come. Oh M.E. why are you not in the place for a relationship?

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