[PAIN]

Being sexually assaulted is something that follows a person for the rest of their life. It's a never ending pain that can always resurface, even when you think you're moving on. It's been 4 years. I was 12. I was in a relationship with this kid. I liked him for all the wrong reasons. I clung to him because everything in life was shit. And I got the shit kicked out of me. 4 years later, the pain is still fresh, as if it were just yesterday. Pain, because of what he did, but also because I blame myself. I got myself in that situation. How could I not have seen the real him? I was always so proud of how well I could read people, but I fell for this person's act. So much time has passed, and it hadn't hurt in such a long time, but seeing pictures of him with people I'm friendly with, him so happy, so close with these people, my heart races, my eyes well up ready to cry, I can't relax. It all comes rushing back. Since the night it happened, I've been able to stay away from him. No classes together, see him coming, walk the other way, it's been easy. This coming year, I see him every day for a semester, every other for the second semester. I don't know how I'm going to cope with this since just a picture on facebook tears me apart. I shouldn't blame myself, but I do. I really do. Will there ever be an escape?